I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
