I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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