walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
