Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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