BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
