I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
