all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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