I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
