i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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