She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
