She said her name was "party"
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
