he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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