I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
