I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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