So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
