I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
