so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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