Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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