i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The adults are the big ones right?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
