Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
