On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
