Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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