don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
