how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
