Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
