I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
As shirtless as possible
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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