i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
