ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize