we have pet lesbian snakes
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
