Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I want to be your penis for a week.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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