Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize