who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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