your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
