And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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