i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
