She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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