Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
