No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
