I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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