just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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