never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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