i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
