i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
