I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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