I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
