Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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