can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
