I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
