it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
