I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
not ubering you a puppy
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
