So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
