Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
