yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
its liver damage thursday
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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