we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
the night ended with taco bell and tears
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
