If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
birth control should be required to get into college
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
